Slimming Down Couldn’t Save Her

Today, at the NBC building in New York City, Susanne Eman will make another appearance on The Dr Oz Show to follow-up on the discussion we had with him this past September.  Obviously, I won’t be there.  The invitation to participate had come too late, but that’s not what today’s entry is about.

This entry is about the rhetoric that he’ll surely be throwing at her; the same song and dance he gave her last time.  He’ll lose his composure over a difference of opinion, insist that he knows better because he’s a doctor, and then threaten her with diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, pulmonary embolism, and maybe even brain damage.  Maybe he’ll throw his question cards up in the air again, too.

I said “pulmonary embolism”, right?  Yes, I thought so.  When he’s done assaulting Susanne–a woman who won’t listen to him–I’d like for him to pay a visit to Long Island to pay respects to a friend of mine who did, and died of a pulmonary embolism nonetheless.

I had the pleasure of working with this friend for nearly two years.  She was nearing her 4os, single, and any insecurities that she may have harbored about her social life or approximate weight of 230 lbs had made her rough around the edges.  We clashed at first…in fact, I got into an argument with her about the OJ Simpson verdict on my first day, and two months of tension followed.

All of that changed during a casual conversation on a slow Saturday afternoon at the office.  She had interviewed one male co-worker after another, asking them about the kinds of girls they liked.  I, who worked quietly at my desk, was the only guy she hadn’t asked yet, and her curiosity insisted that I be included in the conversation.

“So, Bruce…may I ask what kind of girls you like?”

“The bigger the better”, I told her with authority.

I had my back to her when I answered, and I wish I could have seen if the look on her face was as animated as the response I got from her.  She had never met a guy who prefered fat women over thin ones, and never would have guessed that such a guy would be so open and confident about it.  She wasn’t disgusted, though.  In fact, the next question was “so if I gained more weight, are you gonna invite me to those crazy night clubs you go to?”

Christina and I were friends ever since.  I’ll never know if she understood my orientation, but I do know that she most certainly respected it.  Through picking my brain, she learned enough about FAs to peg none other than my friend Michael, who replaced me after I was fired for speaking out against a horrible boss during a staff meeting.  Mike, from what I’m told, was caught checking out the chunky blond girl in the funding department, and that’s when Christina stepped in and said “you gotta meet Bruce”.

I last saw Christina in 2008–I ran into her at a Taco Bell (forgive me…Qdoba had closed and there was no Moe’s around).  She looked like she had lost about 45 lbs, and fashioned a new wardrobe and hairstyle.  She looked great, and happy, and it’s comforting to know that my last encounter with her was nothing at all like the first; that I last saw her smiling, and energetic.

Christina was admitted to the hospital on Friday and died of a pulmonary embolism overnight.  Just like how I can’t be around to attend the Oz taping, I also can’t be there to pay my last respects to someone who believed what he’s been telling America for the past two years; that obesity is death.  Christina was never obese, but slimming down didn’t do her any favors aside from giving her more confidence in her appearance.  It could have been stress that contributed to her death.  Maybe it was her smoking habits.  Maybe it was a combination of many different things.  The point is that Oz could have taken a look at Christina and insisted that she was healthier than “ticking time bomb” Susanne Eman, only because one woman was significantly larger than the other.

Looks can be deceiving, and Oz has his own ‘man behind the curtain’ that he doesn’t want you to see.  Several men, actually…all of whom are selling diet products that are designed to fail so you can keep spending your money.

Do BBW Paysites Tarnish Fat Acceptance?

One of my readers recently implied via public comment that BBW pay site girls tarnish the integrity of the entire BBW universe.  After over 10 years of observing and interacting with the women he speaks of, it’s still difficult for me to agree or argue with this reader.

To validate his point, this took a shot at Dimensions, claiming that Heather BBW and Goddess Patty were among the many pin-ups responsible for its deterioration.  Dimensions has been around for decades, and it’s undoubtedly the most popular forum for BBW and FA resources and discussions, but this forum fell on its ass long before links to pay sites were being posted.  Did this reader account for the countless insecure women, closeted trolls, and sexual predators that have plagued Dimensions since its online inception?  Well, it’s likely that he falls into two of the three aforementioned groups, so probably not.

Women do pay sites for different reasons, and because of this, not all of them will behave the same; not all of them deserve the scorn.  Some women do it simply to have an edge over their friends when it comes to meeting men at bashes.  These women are easy to spot, and yes, their behavior can easily ruin a weekend event or even a relationship for a friend or loved one (goodness knows it’s happened to myself and to others I’ve been close to over the last few years).  But what about the women who do sites just for an added income?  Or to just feel pretty?  How about the ones who enjoy the liberation that comes with embracing their confidence and sex appeal, regardless of what naysayers will think of them?  Wouldn’t it be fair to assume that their spirit and bold strides have inspired their fellow fat girls to do the same?

I’d say so…just like I’d also say that such graceful, beautiful women are partly responsible for the BBW world’s evolution.  More people turn up in the forums and the bashes year after year, and it comes down largely to bold women of all ages who are determined to prove that an FA’s ideals aren’t just fantasies.

Sometimes you just gotta take the good with the bad.

A Great Case for Genetics

You’ve met Susanne Eman.  Now meet Suzanne French.

Suzanne French isn’t aiming to be the world’s fattest woman, but if you went out to dinner with her, you’d think otherwise.  Nicknamed “Suzilla”, she is ranked 4th in the world of competitive eating.  The clip above is a trailer for her new TV series, and within the first 2o seconds of the clip, she’s ordering 15 grilled steak sandwiches.  For herself.

I can’t physically eat like that.  If I did, and did it often, I’d make Jess look like a stick figure.  Speaking of Jess, if she and Suzilla were next to each other on the lunch line, and someone were to overhear an order placed for 15 steak sandwiches, the first thing they’re going to do is look at Jess and assume that it’s all for her.

By the way, Jess can’t eat like Suzilla, either.  Research suggests that Suzilla will always be able to eat larger quantities than someone Jess’ size because human flesh and organs can expand and contract like elastic bands.  Suzilla is somewhat petite–literally thin-skinned–allowing her insides to push it out more to make room for the 15 grilled steak sandwiches that she’s about to put inside it.  Jess, on the other hand, is nearly four times Sue’s size, and the thickness of her skin will put restrictions on just how much food her stomach will be able to hold.  Ever wonder why the skinny Japanese kid always beats the fat dude at the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest?  Well there’s your answer.

Now put me and Suzilla next to one another.  I have no idea what this girl does as far as exercise, but goodness knows that her diet is in outer space.  Somehow, some way, she remains slender.  Me?  I eat nothing but egg beaters, grilled meats, and green beans throughout the week, I go to the gym to lift heavy weights and get in a minimum of 30 minutes of cardio 4-5 nights a week, and I get in my carbs on the weekends.  Despite my efforts, which include a solid diet and exercise routine, I’m still unable to get under 180 lbs.

I’d love to be able to eat like Suzilla and have my BBQ ribs whenever I please, but I can’t, and it’s because of genetics.  Age factors in, too, but it’s largely due to genetics, and Suzilla’s exploits prove my point better than anything else I’ve seen.  Another point that Suzilla proves is that voracious appetites don’t belong solely to the obese.  Yes, thin people can and do regularly eat large quantities of food high in fat and carbohydrates while fat people can eat healthfully and see no change in their appearance.

I’d love to see Susanne Eman return to the Dr Oz Show with Suzilla right next to her.  Oz would flip his shit.

Need a BBW room mate?

Most of my Facebook friends have already been added to this, but for those of you who haven’t, I’ve created a group to help FAs and BBWs network for room mates; it’s called Rounder Roomies.

2011 has been a difficult year for several close friends of mine from within the BBW and FA universe.  One of them is an FA who’s been forced out of his home by his own sister.  Another is a supersized girl who needed out of an abusive relationship and had nowhere to turn until a mutual friend stepped in and offered a spare room, and due to the severity of the situation, this friend wasn’t a minute too soon.

More friends of mine are struggling.  I’m in no position to help anyone monetarily, and Jess and I don’t have the room in our small crawl space for anyone to stay with us, so I started Rounder Roomies for friends and friends of friends.

One thing I want to make clear is that no member is obligated to do anything; this isn’t some Christian Children’s Fund type of thing in which you can adopt a BBW or FA for 18 cents a day or something.  If you happen to have extra space in your house or apartment and wouldn’t mind a companion to share in the bills or just crash for a few weeks, then please make it known.  If you prefer to live with like-minded people and be free of potentially judgmental room mates, please make it known.  If you’re looking to move for whatever reason, be it by choice or circumstance, please make it known.  If you have any information regarding housing that can accommodate larger folk, please make it known.  If you know someone who would or could benefit from being a member of this group, please add them.

Best of luck to everyone trying to find a place to call home, and happy holidays.

Because Dr. Oz is NEVER wrong!

A friend of mine forwarded this link to me tonight…

There are a few other clips from this taping available for viewing.  In short, Gaesser is advocating HAES; insisting that it’s easier to get a fat person fit than it is to get a fat person thin.  Now, I’m no doctor, but my girlfriend can tell you that he’s spot-on with his claim and his dismissal of this obesity epidemic.  Not only did Jess do a good share of swimming in high school, but she was one of those geeks spending hours on the Dance Revolution games you see at Jillian’s or Dave & Buster’s.  You can take one look at her and be floored when you see how fast she can walk through large crowds in the subway, or see her shoveling snow outside.  She lives a very active lifestyle, but she’s still over 400 lbs while I eat lean and get in loads of strenuous exercise throughout the week, only to find that my bodyweight just won’t go under 180 lbs.  Given these scenarios, and given Gaesser’s testimony, is it still insane to dismiss the obesity epidemic and just accept that age and genetics play just as much of a role in our appearance as diet and exercise?

It is for Dr. Oz.  After all, if he DOESN’T argue Gaesser’s points, then he won’t be the poster boy that he is for the multi billion dollar diet industry that pays top dollar to advertise their faulty products during his commercial breaks.

So what does Oz do to challenge Gaesser’s claims? He has the guy run around the stage with an 80 lb vest on.   Look, I’m not a doctor, but c’mon now…common sense is common sense.  OF COURSE it was challenging for Gaesser to run up the stairs with an 80 lb vest on…he’s carrying nearly half his body weight on his shoulders!  His legs aren’t used to it, so naturally, a dramatic increase in weight would hinder his physical attributes.  Walk into the locker room on WWE Raw tonight and you’ll find dozens of guys at his height who carry that “extra weight” on a regular basis.  I’ll bet Oz isn’t going to point a finger and deem them unfit, just like I’ll also bet that he’ll insist that a person carrying those extra 80 lbs daily—in the form of body fat—is a walking heart attack.  If you’re 80 lbs overweight, your body and your muscles are used to carrying that weight on a regular basis, and contrary to what Dr. Oz says, you’re not going to fall if you jog upstairs.  Not unless you’re a klutz or slip on a banana peel.  You might be slower than a lighter person, but you can still be fit.  In fact, you could even be in better health than the lighter person…how many lightweights do you know of who smoke several packs of cigarettes per day?  You think any of them can handle the stairs with or without the vest and not encounter any difficulty?

When I appeared on Oz’s show with my friends, I knew that none of us had a snowball’s chance in hell of changing his stance on this fabled obesity epidemic—a PhD often gives the recipient the idea that they’re never wrong.  But now, he’s getting a message very similar to ours—from another doctor—and the best thing Oz could do to back his own claims is make his guest run up and down the stairs with a weighted vest on.  This feeble attempt to tell another doctor “I’m right and you’re wrong” is the dent in his armor that people ought to watch for.  Aim hard enough for it and you’ll expose him; you’ll expose the fact that he puppeteered by Oprah and the big diet industry to peddle plans and products that don’t work.  If Oz agreed with Gaesser’s claims, then less people would pour money into these plans and products, and we wouldn’t want THAT now, would we?

And This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

The fight against fat discrimination has seen some interesting things over the last few weeks, but I haven’t had the time or energy to blog about it.  Part of it has to do with holiday stuff, but most of it is simply because I’ve been finding it difficult to log in and post anything here.  Why?  Simple…every time I do log in, I check the stats, and one of the top five blogs is always “Is Heather Boyle Still Gaining Weight”; usually, it’s #1.  In other words, jerking off to Heather’s websites seem to be all that our FA brethren seem to care about. (most of my replies are from women).  Our oppressed subculture will never get anywhere in the world because our able-bodied men prefer to be self-serving and anonymous.  Pay attention, ladies, because every time you attend a bash or post on an online forum and meet the fresh young face that sweet talks his way into your heart, this is likely to be what he’s doing when your back is turned.  Our subculture is littered with too many men who care for nothing beyond getting their rocks off, but most women flock to them like flies on shit and think the world of them until they’re personally given a reason not to (i.e., they realize that they’ve just participated in a cleverly disguised one night stand).  These same women are usually the first to crucify me because I prefer not to fluff their egos and make them feel like a princess for a day.  In fact, I’ve got two girls who continue to slander me to anyone who will listen, and this is three years after I stopped dating them.

This is why we can’t have nice things, folks.  There’s no unity.  Just endless cries of “me me me”.

The feedback I got from my Dr Oz appearance was positive overall.  Most are in agreement that Oz is a douchebag while I presented myself well and proved that FAs aren’t limited to the aforementioned self-serving, anonymous little weasels that use the subculture as a spank bank.  While I consider the appearance to be a success, I’m sure there are plenty who think quite the opposite.  That’s fine…I’m not bothered by that and I’d most definitely deserve a talking-to considering how strongly opinionated I am on most things, but let me ask you this: when it comes to fat discrimination, who are you going to turn to if you want to do something about it?  Me?  Or the spank bank weasels?

We live in selfish times.  Deadbeats come in all sizes and cultures, and we have just as many people in ours who will never be satisfied; no matter how much you give, it will never be enough.  In my years, I’ve learned that the ones who do the most complaining are normally the ones who contribute the least when it comes to whatever the problem is, and this BBW subculture is teeming with them.  There are exceptions to this—bold and brave exceptions—and they may not like what I’ve been doing in recent months, but at least I’m doing SOMETHING.  Halle Berry wouldn’t have won her Oscar had it not been for Mammy; someone had to roll with the punches to make the world a safer place for her.  That’s the stage we’re in right now, and if you’d rather turn your attention to the porn collectors and one-night-stand wonders, then all you have to do is look in the mirror when you ask yourself why fat discrimination continues to plague your world.

Equal Opportunity Employment for Fat Women

How many of you ladies out there have ever had reason to believe that employers may have denied you a job because of your size?  How often do you see a woman over 200 lbs shampooing anyone at the salon, answering the phone at the receptionist desk, or selling anything that can’t be found at Lane Bryant?  Come to think of it, is Wal-Mart the only place where jobs are offered to women in extended sizes?

I used to think so, but that all changed shortly after I started working for my current employer.  I’ve only been here for five weeks, but in those five weeks, I’ve noticed that three out of every four women weigh anywhere between 200-350lbs.  The job itself is awful, but at least the scenery is nice, as they all regularly dress to impress when they report to work; they all look very nice and appear confident.

Of course, I’m way too analytical for my own good.  Maybe it’s a part of being a Virgo, but then again, the fat/thin ratio I just gave you was the exact opposite at my last job.  The company worked in the same industry, and operated two blocks down the street, but the women all looked like retired prostitutes.  They looked anorexic, wore excessive amounts of makeup, and their shorts and skirts were worn so high that you could smell who or what was in there the night before.

So…what makes my current employer different?  How or why is it that fat women are in the majority of this office’s female population?  Maybe it’s because our pretentious recruiter/trainer might have a few issues with insecurity.  The girl looks and sounds like Blossom, which is unfortunate.  It’s quite possible that she’s aware of just how unfortunate this is, seeing how her personality isn’t doing her nay favors, because I’m beginning to think that she’s filling this office with fatties in a petty effort to feel more attractive.

Well the joke’s on her, because every time she looks at me with smiling eyes, I find myself wondering what her problem is, and why she can’t look more like the other women who work here. 

I wonder how that would make her feel.